Holidays and Realities for us human beings

Registers hear them ringing, pushing and shoving are you seeing.
trudging along where the cheer gone? walking round the mall  around noon.
you can see sale sign so bright telling you the best deal ever.
yet there nothing on the shelf, you can go ask a store associate but all you get
it I just started last week from now, oh wow rain checks are onto allowed.

Internet the final frontier the is the voyage are cyber customers on cyber Monday
it the great vast of amazon, and e bay and other galaxies to come. Explore many new
websites to boldly search where no one else as had a chance to google or Bing...

Obnoxious oh yes, with out a doubt. Please don't get it wrong I love technology and what
it has given us. But I think about a song that awesome 80's group wrote and escalated among
the airways. Personal Jesus. If you look up the lyrics it see a part of the future. We
have out bible on our Ipad, Mini Ipad, I phone, Nook, Microsoft tablet... There's nothing
wrong with that of course its the fear of the "Jesus App" I mean seriously..

I remember I use to look through my mom's magazine, Family Circle. I used to see
so many crafts and things to make home made. They look fun and some were
that I had tried. What happen to giving I mean giving your hands to create your
mind to design and your smile to give even on a paper photo. Now it has resulted to Skype
or Facetime. Or something made in china that looks like it was made by hand, but
not by you. Its OK to keep the local market or bakery in business but your oven
is a bit cold isn't it.

The point that giving to one another during the time that we recognize that Jesus Christ
was born, is mainly about sharing each others company, conversation, Good thought
and memories of great times spent. And a trinket or two of something to remember the
season. Its OK to treat yourself but at times I see more greed and selfishness from many
people around me.

To battle over a doll or a get upset because that 50 inch wide screen isn't there when you
wanted it after you crawled out of bed around ten in the morning. And to wait in line at midnight
for the door buster deals and drain the credit cards yet in truth it will take up to 5 years
to pay off the card and you spend more in charges the the cost of the merchandise.
Hold on I am not bah humbug buying its the unfortunate greed that fills our mind
that I am addressing. It a celebrating not a competition among family and friends.

Oh and lets not leave out the anger and rage for a parking space or travel on the freeway.
I have not leg to stand on on this either so chill your self. Have to get to grand parents
or the parents house, and even get into the mall or retail outlet. You drive slowly and look
for a place to park and right when you  see it only 5 cars away another guy pulls in form the
street and parks. Wow feel that heat and see the gasket blow. You rage loudly, but like my
family would say they can't hear you!

And let not forget the most important the less fortunate, disabled, elderly and the forgotten. Oh a sore
subject for many, how dare me pull out that subject. Hell yes! Now understand we are all
in a crisis of economy. But lets look at it without the rose colored glasses. The less fortunate are
the ones who are not even cutting by. No job have kids and go the the rummage or soup kitchen.
You can give a little but mostly a smile is better then anyone can give and a prayer of hope.

The disabled this means not only the mentally challenged, but those who have lost limbs and
sickness has taken its toll. Our soldiers that have served from past to present that can not
function regularly. And not just around us but in our own families we need to give them
a sense of worth and encouragement. Lend a had when you can and don't make them feel
like you have to do it should be you want to help.

The elderly, we will all be there someday and the way you treat your children and family is
the way you may be treated... no That is not a good way to think. We will all be there and we
should always respect and care for our Mom's and Dad's uncles, aunts, and other elders you
may associate with. When it come time that they can't we must step up so they can, remember
you would be able to do what you do if it wasn't for someone to teach you. Its time to return
the favor and give a helping hand even when they don't want it. Explain that it my pleasure
to do so and reminisce about what was done for you by them. It will mean a great deal to
them.

The forgotten.. People in nursing homes and alone at home. Not all are old either for many
are ones who have lost their partners, or are so extremely disable that they are taken care
of by caregivers. Well some of those caregiver really don't care. Not the kind of caring that
comes from family and friends. I you know anyone like that give them a call. Bring them
cheer, bring them dinner or lunch. Just spend time with them, invite them out with your family
or group. No one deserve to be forgotten. Oh I almost forgot for some its not wrong to
visit a cemetery, even though the spirit has past some still believe that a cemetery is
a porthole to the heavens. Its OK to believe don't let anyone knock it. Gather together
family or friends bring a chair and some flowers to make the area look nice and sit and chat
about the good time of the person that has pass on to their new life.

OK now I feel your heat on the back of my neck so to speak. Who am I to write these words and
a dress these subjects? I can can hear the echo's of you are no better or you have done it too.
When boys and girls let give the reality, I have done some of those things but.... NOW! to day
at this hour I write I admit I am no better but I am working on being the better. Follow me
I have laid down some bread crumbs you can follow. I have been bah humbug for may years
when God that father called my Mom home. I became someone that my mother didn't teach.
It took many years to realize I as wrong. Yes I admit I was wrong!

Now I have a journey to Jesus and God our Holy father. No I am not preaching or selling
you to a religious congregation like baptist or catholic or New born Christian. I am and have been
a Christian. But you don't have to be a Christian to do these things Jewish and Non religious
people can follow the bread crumbs too. Its about brotherhood and sisterhood. Its about fellow
man and woman. Not about color or style, not about ethnics or countries. Its about being human.
and living among one another in one world...

In complete darkness we are all the same.
It is only our knowledge and wisdom that separate us.
Don't let your eyes deceive you - interlude Janet Jackson

This is the test  No struggle no progress Lend a hand to help Your brother or sister do their best
Things are getting worse We have to make them better Its time to give a damn
Lets work together come on - edit and borrowed from Rhythm Nation - Janet Jackson

We are created to learn from our mistakes, Teach what is right and wrong and achieve the
one prize.. Happiness, Love and Sharing humanity

Target my job my bast oh I mean past

Sitting here with memories of good and bad, the first real job I ever had. 10 years of red and kakkei  or tan pants. At a glance I was a target teer. From 1987 to 1997 I work in Santa Fe springs at 227. I stock the shelves and customer service too. To be honest it about all I miss about it. I lost a piece of my forefinger to to a faulty crown pallet stacker in 1991. Yet I didn't give up I stayed a target eer.

I position changed to to planogram /presentations for most of my work time. Then made it to floor specialist and that ended my reine at target. Made many friends and some enemies. Met my spouse at target. But now sitting I see Your sister Hilda is home dude. I'm at work on lunch. Miss you we all got to meet up sometime past with new young faces. Don't make it a career. Even making it to manager ain't worth a damn. 

After 1992 and the management changes and policies, all a employee is a number and nothing more. Biggie try and back stabbing still exists I see it as a customer. Manager are a joke. And assets protection is a waste of time. If they did the losses of the store would be so high. It was back that way back in the day. To all at 227 Santa Fe springs target don't make it your life. I would rather bus tables.

It's who I am (reposted from other blog)

It has been a time. So many people want to see me a certain way. Everyone has a answer for me, or try to give me solutions. Sometimes all I need is a ear to listen.
Or just to vent. If anyone notices I have did my best to give up certain habits, yet some are still hard to break.

It's who I am is what you see. like it or not its me. I have a temper that I am working to control. I still have a trigger yet I am not alone. So does everyone else.
Of course they wouldn't dare admit it. Now think if you are reading this and getting upset or grumbling. You must have guilt cause I did not name names. Yes there is times I think I know it all and times I do. But it offends those who don't. And I admit I am not always right, and I admit that I have pushed that I am but I am work in progress.

Faith I have in God himself but the faith I lack is in myself. Another work in progress and it the way it is. Emotional I am some say its a girl or a woman trait. Oh judge me Ha! Reality check for everyone we share traits! That's why it says wo-man
mean we share certain traits. I don't have a problem with that. I feel it makes me unique among the guy thorns.

I am also a former abused child, mentally, sexually(incest), physically, and emotionally. No this is not a excuse for my temper or actions but it does play a role in who I am. I have lived with it most of my life. And only now I am coming to terms with some of it. I do have a fear of being alone at times. Of course I wouldn't admit to it face to face. I guess that's why I can be clingy at times.

But truth be told being clingy and overly friendly can have it's cost. I cost me a job, and acquaintances. So I felt I had to be more of a stone. And hell it bit me in the other butt cheek. And it cost me with my friends and family. Damn! It's hard to be me... So I realized that everyone needs to see me for who I am ! like it or not.
If you truly love me I mean love me. The person; short, receding hair line, chunky, not well endowed, big butt.

The personality comes with the package. I am trying my best to be truly me. It's not easy when most of your life you have been trying to be if not better, or an least meet up with the people who are liked. It's become exhausting, tiring, cost me friends. Family hmm, well my blood family which are my brother and sisters that's gone when my mom passed away. My friends are my family. And I don't care if my sister don't like it, or any other part of my family. You weren't there when I needed you!

I want to live to be a ripe old age and it wont happen unless I start working now. So my family that are my friends and true friend. from Tennessee to Californya's inland empire to down the street from me. I am doing my best to be a better person. It's for me and I ask Gods help to get me there. I hope you accept me as me, you say you do but real ask yourself? Have I really ever wanted to take the time to know him?
Or did I just grab what I could from him to satisfy me.

Now please note I have done many wrongs in my life and it's up to you to want to make me suffer or pay for it. It is your decision, but remember I live with it no matter what I live with it. Do you really have the right to be my judge and jury.
I apologize to those I haven't and I continue to apologize to those I have already.

This is who I am accept me or decline me but I am still going to stay me. I have written this to make people realize the person they dislike or disagree with or hate because of my traits or actions. Or disagree with because they don't want me that way. Or learn about the person that they love and care and need to understand better.

I live with me it's up to you if you want to...

Reality check (reposted from other blog)

Sometime I can be a real bastard or jerk. OK don't very one applaud at once. I admit I have a tendency to give tough love. And I admit I get carried away at times. But I do mean well. I feel that it is important for those in my life to realize that there own agenda isn't always the answer. That jealousy is not the meaning its more of a minion.

To see that making a mockery is just that a mockery. It gets nothing but grief. It's in my nature to love the ones in my life and let them understand that if I am doing some changing then they need to get along behind me. Now I am not playing Jesus and asking them to be my disciples. I am saying you must be a disciple in order to go forward. Positiveness is the key. It's up to them to go to the door and turn the key.

I have had my share of reality, just too much and too many times. that doesn't mean I have given up. It's just more of a maze to go through in order to get to that same door marked positive. remember second chances are made by yourself. God will carry you so far. There are many times you will have to get on your own two feet and ten toes and walk the path and do the journey.

You can't expect yourself to grow toward being positive unless you do a little fertilizing, plowing, Basically believing in yourself. And the rest will follow in time. Expectations of others does little if you can't fulfill the expectations of yourself. I don't believe anyone deserves to be the king or queen of pain. the pain may never go away but you can compromise with it and live a more productive and positive way.

I will continue to do what I feel means something. Be there for my friends and let them know straight how it is and what it means to them if they do.. like it or not it's who I am

Truth hurts we live on...Sibling rivalry (reposted from other blog)

It's been a while since I wrote on this one of my blogs....

Well here we go! Siblings are sometimes the worst to deal with in life.

When the parents pass away and the cord is cut. Its like a air hose going wild

when its detached from it's source. They look at the youngest as the worst thing that ever survived. Or times the oldest may get it as well. These siblings would trade the life of the youngest or oldest to have there security blanket back their parents.

They feel that they are abandoned and exposed to the world. OH GOD! Failing there life becomes. They may harass the younger or older sibling... Steal things that they feel belong to there parents. Mock and torment the younger or older sibling because they gained a house or car or something that the parents felt they needed or would take care of in compare to the other children. Jealously and regret become the focus of these children.

Some go to church and still hold hypocrisy in there minds. God this and Gods going to punish you for not helping me. You will pay how you are or how you are acting. Yet they get on there knees and pray. They alleluia and Holy Holy. Yet they cuse up a storm, talk bad and curse the older or younger sibling. You'll be sorry you watch! How so loving and caring. Hawk shit. We punish ourselves not God.

The victimised younger or older hold on tight to there mentality and temper doing there best to not give in to the foolish and unfair ways they are treated and tormented. Sometimes they have to break ties with there is siblings in only to keep their sanity. Sometimes the victimised younger or older make there own family and friends suffer without knowing it's happening. Some immediate family wife sons daughters, close friends fade away or turn back because they don't understand.

Pray for those younger or older who suffer. For real pray don't just say I will. What you pray or wish for better my be the only thing to save this victims of stupidity and ignorance. A hug, a mean full one. A ear to listen, no solutions just listen. And then just then they may be able to go on and live a decent life....

Christmas what, where. hear

Walk to the edge and watch the snow all over the place. Wait this ain't reality.
A picture on the wall or on television. Many never really see what snow is. It is either man made not by the heavens. Wrapped up boxes called gifts and retail rings and commercial sing of sales all around.

The fat man they call in a red suit sitting in a mall with a gut looking like dads in front of a football game. Kids telling him what they want and there name. His eyes roll up and when its done no more then a candy cane for a daughter or son. And a picture of digital quality that cost more then the box of candy canes being given out. Not to mention the cost of the frame?!

Jolly and holly and mistletoe getting the lights on the house or the ultimate design in the yard, yet to out do the others down the street. Blown up displays and cardboard portrays overwhelming the simple look of ones house. A wreath on a door or on the overpriced Cadillac escalated. And clothing displaying Noel or happy holidays with designer label sewed on the back.

Hark hark did we forget what its all about yes not doubt? A Young man called Jesus, a star and animals all around. His birth called to change a world of misfit and mayhem.
To remind all that we were created to share in brother and sisterhood. That no one is better then another. The meek and the wealth me at the crossroads and intertwine into one where no one takes lead.

A man name Nick who a story tells gave gifts to children to only see joy and cheer. That some call a saint. Others call the great man of Gods reign who goes and travels though Christmas eve blessing people with joy and peace. Giving many love and hope in a uncertain world. The blessing comes from the soul of each man and woman.

Give yourself a second to believe again reach into your inner child while still standing on a adult foot prints. Reminded of what the reason for this time in Decembers. A giving of thanks that November had started in faith,  rhyme song. A remembrance of where we come from and where we should be, know that giving is every day not just one time of the year.

So next time you hear the songs of Christmas cheer let it remind you not of retail and sales or holiday logger and beer. Not who's yard is better or who got the better gift. Not of Sitting on a strange mans lap making wishes to him that he wont make come true. Choirs and singers singing of cheer and love and grace not s feed the world songs that do nothing more then remind us that in our own towns and cities of the poor and forgotten. We need to give them the Christmas cheer

Look in the mirror and start today. Give to yourself and then your family and to your friends. The joy of giving the treat of a hand, a hug or a kiss. Giving of your time to those unfortunate when you yourself have not much. Believing in your our selves and others and share time and conversation not material things. Let ther spirit flow among us all. And Thank every day Jesus was born to to forgive our foolish sins and give life to our spirit.

If you believe say Amen......