It has been a time. So many people want to see me a certain way. Everyone has a answer for me, or try to give me solutions. Sometimes all I need is a ear to listen.
Or just to vent. If anyone notices I have did my best to give up certain habits, yet some are still hard to break.
It's who I am is what you see. like it or not its me. I have a temper that I am working to control. I still have a trigger yet I am not alone. So does everyone else.
Of course they wouldn't dare admit it. Now think if you are reading this and getting upset or grumbling. You must have guilt cause I did not name names. Yes there is times I think I know it all and times I do. But it offends those who don't. And I admit I am not always right, and I admit that I have pushed that I am but I am work in progress.
Faith I have in God himself but the faith I lack is in myself. Another work in progress and it the way it is. Emotional I am some say its a girl or a woman trait. Oh judge me Ha! Reality check for everyone we share traits! That's why it says wo-man
mean we share certain traits. I don't have a problem with that. I feel it makes me unique among the guy thorns.
I am also a former abused child, mentally, sexually(incest), physically, and emotionally. No this is not a excuse for my temper or actions but it does play a role in who I am. I have lived with it most of my life. And only now I am coming to terms with some of it. I do have a fear of being alone at times. Of course I wouldn't admit to it face to face. I guess that's why I can be clingy at times.
But truth be told being clingy and overly friendly can have it's cost. I cost me a job, and acquaintances. So I felt I had to be more of a stone. And hell it bit me in the other butt cheek. And it cost me with my friends and family. Damn! It's hard to be me... So I realized that everyone needs to see me for who I am ! like it or not.
If you truly love me I mean love me. The person; short, receding hair line, chunky, not well endowed, big butt.
The personality comes with the package. I am trying my best to be truly me. It's not easy when most of your life you have been trying to be if not better, or an least meet up with the people who are liked. It's become exhausting, tiring, cost me friends. Family hmm, well my blood family which are my brother and sisters that's gone when my mom passed away. My friends are my family. And I don't care if my sister don't like it, or any other part of my family. You weren't there when I needed you!
I want to live to be a ripe old age and it wont happen unless I start working now. So my family that are my friends and true friend. from Tennessee to Californya's inland empire to down the street from me. I am doing my best to be a better person. It's for me and I ask Gods help to get me there. I hope you accept me as me, you say you do but real ask yourself? Have I really ever wanted to take the time to know him?
Or did I just grab what I could from him to satisfy me.
Now please note I have done many wrongs in my life and it's up to you to want to make me suffer or pay for it. It is your decision, but remember I live with it no matter what I live with it. Do you really have the right to be my judge and jury.
I apologize to those I haven't and I continue to apologize to those I have already.
This is who I am accept me or decline me but I am still going to stay me. I have written this to make people realize the person they dislike or disagree with or hate because of my traits or actions. Or disagree with because they don't want me that way. Or learn about the person that they love and care and need to understand better.
I live with me it's up to you if you want to...
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